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'And this war game comes with an AK 47.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Sport Utility Boot.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Another new, really cool-looking gadget in a desperate search for a problem to solve.

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

The Hooligan.

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'So I thought, why waste money on a new scope when I've got this baby just sitting in my attic gathering dust.'

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

"I understand the graphics on your new video boxing game are very realistic."

I was expecting something a little more advanced

'Colonel Mustard with his candlestick in the library.'

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

Something above the common

"My handicap? The water, trees, windows, sand...."

"And now, we have added a special adaptation for the Luftwaffe head gear."

Entertainment centres today and in 1936.

"Your grandma thinks you're taking the old school thing far too seriously."

"Dad, can I have a new conker?"

Rock paper scissors before paper or scissors.

Camelflage.

Monopoly, "You have been made a major media baron- do what the hell you like!"

"I can't seem to find the camouflage trousers. . ."

In the old days kids used to play marbles. What's a marbles?

Big Game Hunting

Bully playing conkers with a computer.