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Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

Go team!

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

American Football.

Men can show their emotions!

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Strive to win!

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Football supporters.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'