Gamble Enthusiasts Gifts

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Gambling on office building construction

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Bribes for Jabs

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Dog in casino.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

"Stag poker"

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Playing cards.