Gadget Cautious Gifts

"Psst! - Would you like to buy a second-hand computer..?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Not that net!'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Dog Walking Services

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Can our software do that?'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Hiding the electronics.

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

That one has all the batteries!

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Crap from the future.

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'