Future Vip Gifts

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Airplane

Football Royalty

Heaven Has VIP

'Next time I cut the red wire...'

Pearly Gates Queue

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

"Some commentators say one of the political parties needs a Hispanic vice president candidate."

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

'You'd have to work your way up to becoming a spy, maybe get some tinkering experience first ...'

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

The Great and the Good.