Future Vip Gifts

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Football Royalty

Airplane

Heaven Has VIP

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'Next time I cut the red wire...'

Pearly Gates Queue

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

"Some commentators say one of the political parties needs a Hispanic vice president candidate."

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'

'You'd have to work your way up to becoming a spy, maybe get some tinkering experience first ...'

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

The Great and the Good.

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

'I feel silly jumping for a dropped ball.'