Future Security Seeker T-Shirts

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Will work for ETFs

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Amateur Palmist

Wow. You're amazing!

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Redundancies

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'I'm afraid you'll have to find another way of showing how crucial you job is, Johnson!'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

Where the hell did you get that brain ?

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

Palm Reader...

Cat and the Eight Ball.

Big bumpers.

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'Your assets are perfectly safe with us, it's ring fenced - and of course we reconcile regularly sir.'