Future Parent Of The Year Pillows

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby, baby maker

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

We decided that a puppy would be good practice before having a baby.

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Did you want to know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

"Did you ever have that baby you wanted so much?"

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'