Future Parent In Training Mugs

"Hey! Who's this little guy?"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

In the club.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Pet Adoptions

"It's a Facebook Friend Request."

"Triple whammy."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

'I'm on the way!'

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"It gets easier the second time."

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'