Future_medicine_fan T-Shirts

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

New Age Store.

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"Trepanning for gold"

Vaccine race

Playing Doctors.

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

Eventually I'd like to major in cosmetic surgery.

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my boss' voice."

A hospital chart is being dragged off down a mouse hole.

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

"How do I know you're not malingering?"

Porcupine Acupuncture

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."