Future Master Painter Gifts

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'You could do that.' I did

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

This one's mixed media--- I had jelly on my hands while finger-painting.

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Hazards of mouse painting

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

Sleeping on the Job

Alberto Giacometti.

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

The Worst Date Ever

"Quit moving"

'You did that on purpose!'