Future Master Painter Gifts

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

'You could do that.' I did

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Hazards of mouse painting

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

Sleeping on the Job

Alberto Giacometti.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'You never smile at me like that!'

"Quit moving"

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'