Future Linguists Gifts

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"I'm still pre-literate."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Ironing Punctuation

Staff Yearbook

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

Museum of Natural Cliches

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Holy Mackerel

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"Spring Chicken"

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Traffic Jam

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Mincing machine

Overly wordy travel.

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

"Yes Billy, you have a question..."

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

"Your ordering in French would have been more romantic if you didn't have to read it off your phone."

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.