Future Linguists Gifts

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"I'm still pre-literate."

Ironing Punctuation

Staff Yearbook

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

Museum of Natural Cliches

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

"It says here an increasing number of Brits blog and tweet in Afrikaans. Why?"

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

Holy Mackerel

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Hey, I hear you invented the subjunctive. No, but I sure wish I had.

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"Spring Chicken"

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Traffic Jam

Mincing machine

Overly wordy travel.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

English As A Second Language

"Yes Billy, you have a question..."

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

"Your ordering in French would have been more romantic if you didn't have to read it off your phone."