Future Foreseer T-Shirts

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

'I see a nine and a one. A one-night stand with a nine-month pregnancy.'

'Might still makes right, no matter who wins in elections.'

Artifishial Intelligence

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

A child runs an equity stand.

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Totalitarian Humour

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

"It will be all your fault."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"What the hell happened to this town?"

"Want to trade banks with me?"

Ill next Thursday

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Nostradamus.

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."