Future-focused Parent T-Shirts

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

People and robots

Baby, baby maker

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Natural gas

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"It's a Facebook Friend Request."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

We decided that a puppy would be good practice before having a baby.

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

"Did you want to know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'