Future Detective Pillows

"Felicia, both your father and I feel you're too young to be mysterious."

"Just practicing for my teens."

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

"Something tells me this won't be the last time you're picked out of a lineup."

A boy acting suspiciously

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

Optician and the PI.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"