Furniture Renovator Pillows

Painter and Decorator/Wallpaper

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Painting the Ceiling

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'I found the termites!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

Fumes from furniture

"She does this when she's tired."

'How are you doing on your side?'

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

Super glue . . .

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

Irritable dowel syndrome

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'