Furniture Laugh Seekers Pillows

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"That'll be five bucks."

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

A cock up of builders

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

Scarecrow

'We're gonna need a bigger couch.'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

"Dancing with the liquidators."

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

Timber!

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"How much should I spend on a bottle of wine?"

"The hibiscus really ties the place together."

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!

Monster eating furniture,

"Honey, they're decorative."

Sofa Change Machine.

Medical and Window Treatments

Here Lies Inventor of Autocorrect - Restaurant in Peace

Thieves searching for money down the back of the sofa.

'I can't save your husband, but I can save you 20%!'

'No, they don't sell furniture, it's the local sunbed salon.'