Furniture Guardian T-Shirts

'You get kickbacks from Al's Sofa City, don't you, Fluffy?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Solar Frankenstein

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Beware of God"

Wembley Concert - Stop Global Warming

'You forgot the product label.'

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

"Oh get over it. It's crocodile. We're alligators."

"Waiter, I'd like to have Black Rhino for dessert!"

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Art Theft

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

A clown walks into his living room and sees a balloon animal scratching up the furniture

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

"Have they no shame?"

The cushions are very soft !

Greece Burns

Furniture being sent out of the shop ('everything must go').

Climate Change

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

"I can't see any birds' nests: It's safe to cut this tree..."

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"