Furniture Building Mugs

"It's very good but we bought a wardrobe."

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"The Great Ikeamids"

'Not now, mother! I'm assembling my sexy wall unit.'

Sitting down

"George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us!"

Why some marriages work

'And this is your desk.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The man who got the contract for making the furniture for the top offices of the 'Shard'.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Surprise!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Fittd shēt

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'