Furlough Fan Pillows

UK furlough scheme

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Turkish Democracy

"I hate it when we fight."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

A Little Extra

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Fire Backwards.

"Have you noticed that when you're having fun, the days go by really fast? But when you aren't doing anything, things go by super slow."

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

When boomerangs argue.

"This is the best news."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

"Don't worry about me. I'm the late bird."

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

Won't Work For Food

"It comes with great sadness, that one of you will be placed on furlough, for a minimum of three weeks."

Government Politicians, Who Never Ever Lie

"What I believe is that it was fate that brought me here and that we will be best friends forever!"

'Thank you, Congressmen, for appearing on 'Face the People'. May the best funded man win.'

"He's my friend. I made him today."

"I heard smart girls like smart guys."

Here's to absent friends. Those lucky dogs.