Fur Debate Follower Gifts

"The missus has been on to me about ditching the fur."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

"Putin's prime critic was killed. That would never happen in U.S. politics, because nothing gets done here!"

Self Checkout

Trump Tower

Devil driving a convertible with many tailpipes

The delegitimization effort.

Joe Lieberman rehearses the Filibuster dance.

"There's nothing in the constitution that guarantees women the right to choose air."

congress 'Von Krupt has a bill to hike taxes and cut social security — he calls it the 'misery compromise.''

"Give me your money...and sign this petition supporting the right to buy firearms."

'I was thinking about voting my conscience this time, but then I remembered that I didn't have one.'

'. . . But where's the beef?'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

"When can we start calling each other names like they did in the political debates."

"As soon as I pay alimony to my six ex-wives, go to rehab and see my therapist, I'm going to go protest that wacko Trump."

Lost and Found

"Sir, the best way to woo voters is to fool some of the people some of the time, and issue an apology to the rest!"

'Hi. We're economic refugees ? take us to your welfare department.'

"I'm watching the presidential debate."

"Now then, were you driven out of Ireland by religious, political or economic pressures?"

Gladstone and Disraeli Discussed by the Queens

'The theme of tonight's debate is 'lemon meringue'.'

"Saying your god is the 'one true god' is as silly as me saying my penis is the 'one true penis.'."