Funny Relationship Moments Enthusiast T-Shirts

'How was that for me?'

"You're hogging the covers again!"

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Malfunctioning geyser

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

'No, you don't have hemorrhoids. You have a case of himorrhoids, has your husband been a pain in the butt, lately?'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"I told you. All men are reptiles.!

"The phrase is 'score,' dude."

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

Ereptile Dysfunction

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

'I miss the days when you used to wear cologne instead of just rolling in something in the backyard.'

"What's come between us?"

"If you'll have me, I'd like to be your blind spot."

"Well yes, pretty and kind were big factors, but her nitpicking abilities are what really won me over..."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'Golf is Life (his).'

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

Daughter/psychiatrist

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

'You're not a zombie Ralph, you're just a little depressed.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"I need a teeny tiny handbag so I don't have to stow away my husband's wallet, phone and reading glasses."