Funny Nutritionists T-Shirts

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Heart Disease Menu

Free Range Chickens

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

'I envy your metabolism.'

You are what you eat

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

Live yogurt.

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

Church of the Low-Carbs

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

"I'm concerned about your eating habits, son."

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'