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Dogs watching a Human Movie subtitled for them.

'Ooooo...heartburn!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Little league world series of poker.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Improve your leaping ability or your money back.

'How now, brown cow?'

Chippunks

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Speed Bump Ahead.

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"By the way...mom was out of spaghetti noodles, so she used worms!"

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

"I made that video while doped up on catnip. That's why I'm warning you to stay away from drugs."

'You wish, Timmy.'