Funny Financier T-Shirts

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Will work for ETFs

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

General Motors.

"Any chance of a couple of crumbs?"

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"And so as a hedge against this trend, the directors have decided to invest heavily in red ink."

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Oh, I can't complain. high profits