Funny Cartoons Pillows

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Which one is yours?' (Man at the vets holding a dog eating a cat).

'I hear you lost your job as a caddie.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'How old are you?'

'Whoa! Slow down, kids! Your mom will neuter me if I bring you home with stomachaches from eating too much of that junk.'

'Take two of these tablets,three times a day.Let me know if they work...I've got the same symptoms!'

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

'To save you hating yourself in the morning allow me to hate you right NOW!'

Karate Chop.

'This just came on the market. The bedroom closet of a four year old. But if that's not in your price range, there is rental space under the bed.'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

'I'm not saying I don't want children, I'm just saying maybe we should at least consider adoption...'

'Don't listen to him - He didn't lose it in Iraq - He's a manx!'

"Don't call 911! Call Luigi's Pizza. They promise to deliver in less than 30 minutes."

"Well duh yes! My grandpa was an alpha-male: that's why he is a grandpa..."

"I can't explain it, I have this irresistible urge to lie on his keyboard when he's working at home..."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Wow, you're right. That is a serious flea infestation!"

Drive Thru Police Station

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"Mouse-icles"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Cripes! I keep forgetting I work from home now."

Lollipop lady cleans car windscreen whilst child holds up traffic.

'Small filling.' Cement mixer,

Golfer misses his shot, "Always wears that strong scent does she?"

'Do you take credit cards?'

"I say we go online and look for a couple of guys who don't threat us like pieces of meat."

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Chippunks