Fundraising Fanatic Pillows

'and this one's for people who've hurt their wrists wearing too many wristbands'.

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

"Let us through! We're charity fundraisers."

Walk for cancer. Walk against cancer.

"A bake sale may be tried and true, Isabel, but our foundation is trying to raise 5 million dollars here."

'That would be too easy - I'm doing a sponsored walk.'

Why the ice bucket challenge isn't for everyone.

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

"Actually chaps I think we may want to move away from the whole 'hair' thing for plan B."

Worried about their funding, the Pentagon went to schools to learn how to run successful bake sales.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout candyyyy - I mean cookies?"

"We decided not to do a nude charity calendar this year, and opted to star in a porn dvd instead."

'Oh, no! Is it rag week again already?'

'Somehow I don't think 'Kevin's can of lager' is going to have the same impact as 'Martha#s Meals'!'

Do something funny for money.

Appeals

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"That's very innovative, but I'm just not interested in buying a box of Girl Scout Cigars."

"Girl scout liquers?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'