Fundraiser Foodie T-Shirts

'For tax purposes. . . we can deduct our $7.00 dinners on our tax return. . . the food wasn't worth $7.00. . . they only gave me one scoop of corn.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Pigeon Little