Fundraiser Coordinator Gifts

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Our war is against cancer."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Not guilty?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

New Year's Eve party for dogs

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

"Well, we got the grant."

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

The Aisle