Fundraiser Gifts

'You can take it with you, but we have to notify your alumni association.'

No Soliciting. Especially if it's for a good cause.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"So we're agreed-whoever picks the short straw has to cold-call potential donors and try to raise enough money for some food."

'He is a persistant little fundraiser.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

Charities knocking on doors.

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi..."

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month. . .'

"Welcome to the grant application process

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Don't - they'll just spend it on drugs."

Birth of the Perpetual Fundraising Industry.

'I'm seeking donations to fund understocked liquor stores in developing nations.'

'We need to strike the right tone between asking and deperately pleading in our alumni solicitation letters.'

'Notice they never speak in tongues when they're asking for money.'

Campaign Goal/Donations So far.

Dotcom begging.

Trophy Catch.

Professional fund raisers giving nothing to non-rpofits.

"His grant application was accepted."

'We need to strike the right tone between asking and desperately pleading in our alumni solicitation letters.'

A donor overcomes fear and risk with data and transparency in order to get funding.

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"We're hoping to get some lottery money to fund some gambling support groups!"

'Ok, so first we take from the rick, keep 95% for admin costs, fees and other expenses and then give what's left to the poor.'

"Just complete this paperwork and we will notify you if you qualify to apply for the grant..."

"It's meatloaf. We didn't make our Kickstarter goal for steak."