Fund Steward Mugs

Purvison heads our environmentally-conscious growth fund

The day the stock market went UP.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Would you like some wings?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Insect extinction

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"I make it myself!"

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

Tree Funeral

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'