Fun With Words Gifts

School of Psychiatry: Do not repress

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Backfire

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Bangers and Mash

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Take me to you lieder.'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Prayboy

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Hot Dog Animals: $2

Apricots

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Loopholes

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"What do cows do in their spare time?"

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Buck Naked

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'I'll have another flu shot.'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"Well, what else am I supposed to do with an olive branch no one wants?"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"'A', I'm adorable."

Baby in Trunk.

Books 'n' Carrots