Frustrated Phone User Prints

When Cell Phone Users Go to Hell

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

"The doctor will bill you now."

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Don't get smart with me!'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

Voice Jail

Feelings towards radios #5 Man angrily kicking a radio.

"Please rate our customer service. For Nasty Insults, Press 1...."

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Police: Don't bother to call Dept formerly rapid response.

"yetthhh, i hold..."

"Eighty-five dollars, just to poke my head through the door! Doesn't that make you sick?"

Man at complaints window gets redirected to the next window.

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

"I'm looking for a phone with an app that will locate my current phone that I can't find."

"Your call is important to us, just not as important as whatever else we're doing."

"Give me a sec and I'll check your order."

It's the last day of the warranty. Sawing the television in half.

"Your call is REALLY important to us, which is why we're going to spend a really... REALLY long time thinking about it before we answer."

"Your call will be deleted in the order it was received."

"Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you."

"I'm keeping count of how many robocalls I get. What's sad is I only started today."

"To talk to someone in Customer Service, press one, but we're pretty sure you'll want to hear our other 12 options. . ."