Fruit Humorist Mugs

Conference Pears

"Really? She's clearly had some work done."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Lime Light

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"I'm having friends over for dominoes, so everyone needs to clear out of the kitchen."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant