Fruit Detective Pillows

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

"Kate! Is this or is this not my ex?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Why have you brought me here?"

"I love the way next door never tidy their garden - it's the perfect source of blackberries for our apple crumble."

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

Live yogurt.

'You can stop looking guys, i found it ! The PROOF is in the pudding!' A detective finds a photo, proof of a murder in a bowl of pudding.