Frugal Fashionista Pillows

'I hear that diamonds are really, really hard. Do you have anything easier?'

School Supplies and Small Loans.

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Bad times for retirees.

'I'm sorry but this computer coupon is good only when printed on a color printer.'

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

"It was what he wanted... only cheaper"

'My son needs a laptop for college. Do you have any with a keyboard that does not have the $ key?'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Hair transplant on the cheap!

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

"Another jumper dear?"

'I couldn't afford a spray tan, so I did it myself with a brush and roller.'

'Cutting prices by shrinking pack sizes. Hey! It's not that bad after all!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Well he wanted the cheapest frames we had in stick and the texta was handy!'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Drastically Reduced Prices!

"If we don't give up the cars, holidays and meals out we'll never save enough in our pension to have a decent retirement."

'We devised a household budget and forgot to include a clothing allowance.'

Supermarket bill turns into snake

Sale Sale...

"I can't afford a season ticket and clothes."

'It may well have saved us a few bob out of our meagre pension, dear, but next time I'm going to Giovanni's!'

"Yeah, my mum never buys individual school photos. With so many of us, it's cheaper to get a group photo..."

'These days, if you have to ask, you can't afford ANYTHING.'

'Ned and I joined a price club.'

"I'll bet you think I'm a terrible opportunist."

To discourage herself from frivolously using her credit card, Gwen attached it to a ball and chain.

'This invoice must be for you: one diamond bracelet $4.50.'

"I'm conservative with my money like you, Granddad. I keep my piggy bank under my mattress."

"There was a half price sale so I was able to buy twice as much."

'Do you have to bring your take-home pay home with you?'

"Here's a money-saving tip."

The New Poor