Friendship Dynamics Explorer T-Shirts

'When I said he should treat every customer like his best friend, I didn't realise he couldn't stand his best friend!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

He wanted a different one.

"Having nannies really changes you."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Call me!"

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

"I decided to treat my employees like friends...now I hate all of them!"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Larry David

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'