Friend Of The Absurd Pillows

'Well, that'll be an expensive bit of fun, buddy!'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What a way to go."

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Hypnotato,

Trapeze artists commuting

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Bonvoy Age...

Magnet at scrapyard

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'