Friend Going Through Loss Pillows

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"He's not gay, but he's often gay-adjacent."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

Hard Hat Area: Marriage Guidance Bureau.

"The curse has been set – your ex's shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings."

"Please excuse my appearance, but I don't have anywhere to wash and shave since my wife threw me out."

"Then again, counselling doesn't always help everyone."

'Don't feel bad - some guys lose everything.'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

"Yes, I suppose I do believe there's a big kennel in the sky."

'I'm sorry Roger, it's not you, it's the way you move, it's just so bizarre.'

"Perhaps it was thoughtless of me, perhaps not. I haven't given it much thought."

"Colin never bothered with a seatbelt. The pub quiz team never recovered."

Do I have grounds for a divorce? You're married...you have grounds.

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

There's a tear in my beer.

"And now, dear, I’m going to hum annoyingly and see how you like it."

"We never talk anymore...except thru your lawyer."

'When Roger died, a little light went out.'

'What a lovely card.' 'Yes, and it's made from recycled paper. Which is apprpriate considering you're on the rebound.'

Breaking up is hard to do. Well, most of the time.

"The only dancing my husband ever did was sidestepping responsibility."

'Tunnel of divorce'