Freshman Philosopher T-Shirts

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Life after death

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Young Galileo