Frequent Flyer Fun T-Shirts

'Flight simulator'

Fasten Restraints

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

'I don't remember this part from training.'

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'

Airport security - next step?

Crew Quiet Rooms

"Second on your left, down the corridor onto the runway. Then it's a short connecting flight to your departure gate."

"Watch out for the last row. They like to play poker."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Walking Luggage.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Airplane Mode.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'