Frequent Flyer Fun Prints

'Flight simulator'

Fasten Restraints

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

'I don't remember this part from training.'

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

I know it's a "pet," and I know it's a "carrier," but you're still not putting it on the airplane.

'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'

Airport security - next step?

Crew Quiet Rooms

"Second on your left, down the corridor onto the runway. Then it's a short connecting flight to your departure gate."

"Watch out for the last row. They like to play poker."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Walking Luggage.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

A private jet takes off

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Airplane Mode.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'