Frequent Flier Fun-lover T-Shirts

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'Flight simulator'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Vampire on a plane

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Dog on a plane.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

"3 ounce liquids! Get your 3 ounce liquids here! Approved and ready for screening! 3 ounce liquids!"

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"May I ask you, sir, if our little jingle on TV had anything to do with your decision to take along the missus?"

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'

Elite-Premium Passengers

'Well? How was the flight?'

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

Airport security - next step?

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Airlines With Attitude

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

Excess Baggage: You wonder where folks are traveling to that they need all that luggage...