French Wine Appreciator T-Shirts

'It was a '67 Chateau d'Yquem? I say leave it on.'

"I'm getting a lot of negativity in this one – is it French?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Bubbly

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."