Fraud Hunter T-Shirts

'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'

"Is there a problem here, senors?"

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Fake Counterfeit Money

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

'What's happened to all this money?'

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

Fraud Squad

'Sleaze, please.'

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'