Fowl Humor Fans Pillows

"And don't get me started about being henpecked. Why do you think I crossed the road in the first place?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Oh Hi!'

"Author does not do tricks."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Moo Out Loud

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Why giraffes hate winter

"I rented out the basement."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"I call it Distressed Feline."