Fortune-seeking Financier Prints

"Relax, Eddie. Our research division says the fundamentals look good."

'I'm here to test the magic 8-ball.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Time to buy.'

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

"Dow's up!"

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

Gambling on office building construction

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Golden Eggs.

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"Trepanning for gold"

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'