Former Tough Guy T-Shirts

'I'm coping.'

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Future Wrestler

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Attorney Punching Bag

Man with many tattoos.

Cat boxer

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"Signal London the continent is cut off!"

All Washed Up

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

"So...you have a boyfriend?"

Exhausted men - steep hill 1 in 3

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

'Goliath, there's money to be made if you take a dive.'

"Dearly beloved, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds!"

Former Wrestlers: "Think of it this way....you made weight, again."

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

'The Raffia Mafia.'

'So is it a real heart attack, or is he just faking it?'

'Joe Louis was right - you can run, but you can't hide.'

"I know, it's hideous! But I did a hell of a lot of sky punching during the World Cup and now I'm stuck with it."

"If it doesn't work bring it back and we'll refund your money."

Nicola Sturgeon's History Guide To Things We Can Blame The English For...Introduction of the Midge

'I think his hand's getting sore.'

A professional wrestlers prepares to

'See, dear? I told you it still fits!'