Forgetful Orator Gifts

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

William Pitt the Elder

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

"Are you going to move?"

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

I've come back here to remember what I forgot in the first place.

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Is it true that a goldfish has a memory of just a few seconds? Don't recall. Hey, Ernie, whose turn is it to sleep in the castle? Don't recall. Maybe we should flip a rock for it. Sure. Okay, I'll be the flat side and you be the round side. What are we flipping for? Not sure. I'm exhausted. Let's call it a day. Whose turn is it to sleep in the castle. Don't recall.

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"Gun fight at the memory lapse corral."