Forest Comedians T-Shirts

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

Penguin

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Alligator Bars

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."

'A tortoise is coming toward us' 'I newt' 'I toad you' 'Great, I'm on Walden Pun.'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

Birth of a shy/paranoid bird.

Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

A tortoise tries to mate with an igloo.

'Frankly, this isn't the sort of Bear contry I was expecting !'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'