For Wife T-Shirts

"Call Jane."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Larry's used art

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

LAY ZEE FUK

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"We've made great progress!"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Talk nerdy to me."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!